When serious emergencies occur during BDSM play, it is vital that the top or bottom call for help. This should never be put aside in favour of concerns over social fallout, if it is a genuine emergency.
Emotional safety is also a factor, especially if the kink involves bondage or restraints. This means agreed safe words and frequent, honest check-ins before, during and after play.
Start Slow
There are a lot of things that can go wrong during BDSM, which is why it’s important to start slowly. This way, both the Dom and sub can get a feel for each other and determine if they really want to play BDSM. If they do, then they can proceed much more quickly.
When starting a BDSM relationship, both partners should agree on the rules of engagement before anything happens. This includes safe words, which are phrases that both parties can use to signal a change in their sexual role or if something goes wrong. It’s also a good idea to have emergency numbers on hand and keep a first-aid kit in case anything goes wrong during play.
It’s best to meet new BDSM partners in a well-populated public area, such as a restaurant or coffee shop. You should never meet someone alone in a secluded place, no matter how experienced they claim to be. If you aren’t sure about their experience level, ask questions and listen for suspicious answers or excuses. Also beware of anyone who tries to seclude you from the outside world or claims to be a secretive person. This could be a sign that they plan to hurt or exploit you. Educating yourself on the different types of play that can be done in a BDSM relationship is also a good idea. For example, if you’re into rope bondage, it’s important to know the different ways that you can tie the rope and the possible risks of losing circulation or nerve damage.
Don’t Drink or Take Drugs
If you’re going to play with BDSM, be sure you’re sober and have no sedatives in your system. Even small amounts of alcohol or drugs can affect your judgment and make you less aware of what you’re doing.
BDSM encompasses a variety of erotic practices and roleplaying, including bondage, discipline, dominance and submission, sadomasochism, and more. Many of these practices are not suited to everyone, and anyone with an open mind should consider carefully pre-negotiating their boundaries before engaging in them.
It’s also important to be able to express your feelings in a safe way, and it is recommended that you use a safe word during BDSM so that you can stop the session immediately if you become uncomfortable or want to end it. Having a word that you can shout during the session will help you to communicate your wishes quickly and effectively, so be sure to discuss it with your partner in advance and agree on a suitable word together.
Many people who engage in BDSM are looking for a pain-pleasure connection similar to the one experienced by athletes who push themselves past their limits and enjoy the feeling of accomplishment, or thrill-seekers who seek out dangerous activities like skydiving. But this is not an excuse for any form of abuse, and it’s essential to remember that the purpose of BDSM is not to punish, humiliate or demean.
Check the Quality of Your Toys
Although it’s true that a Dom’s responsibility to keep things safe is the main one, bottoms should also do their part. This includes ensuring that their toys are well-made and fit them properly. For example, it’s important for bottoms to use real cuffs instead of straps or light fabrics that could harm the skin or tighten to the point of circulation loss. It’s equally important to have dildos that are easy to clean and don’t present a risk of infection.
Another element of BDSM safety is knowing which parts of the body are off limits. For example, it’s never a good idea to tie someone with ropes around the neck or spine, and it’s crucial for a bottom to keep a first-aid kit on hand. Additionally, a bottom should know how to spot red flags in their partner, such as moving too quickly, making comments that make them uncomfortable or ignoring safe words.
Keeping these essential safety tips in mind can help both Doms and subs have fun and enjoy themselves during their sessions. Whether it’s bondage, discipline/dominance, submission/sadism or masochism, all parties involved need to be honest about their intentions, expectations, abilities and training levels. This is the only way to ensure that everyone’s safety and comfort are fully protected. If you’re a toy manufacturer or importer, working with a reputable toy inspection service is the best way to guarantee that your products meet all required quality and safety standards.
Don’t Start With Strangers
Experts warn against buying BDSM toys from people you do not know. This is because many BDSM lovers are known to use them in the most lurid ways, and a lot of these kinks can be dangerous to an uninformed person.
This is why it’s always better to start with your friends. That way, if things do not turn out well, you have someone to call for help. You will not be alone, and you will have more time to think about what went wrong and how to prevent it from happening again.
Moreover, you should never engage in BDSM without having clear boundaries with your play partner. That is a quick route to pain and emotional turmoil. You should both discuss your kinks, interests, and expectations before getting started, and make sure you have a contract or safe words.
While seeking the pleasure-pain connection is a major component of BDSM, it should be noted that there are true psychiatric disorders that stem from inflicting pain for sexual stimulation, such as sadism and masochism disorder. Therefore, it is important to avoid hurting yourself or others for your own pleasure.
Remember, when it comes to BDSM, the mantra is SSC (Safe, Sane, Consensual). If you want to have fun playing your kinkiest fantasies, then make sure that you keep these tips in mind.